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I went to pick my car up from the workshop yesterday,
the man was on the telephone, I overheard him say:
“I’ll take that two-week cruise as I’m about to get some dough,”
and then he saw me standing there and said: “I have to go!”
He handed me my keys and said: “Your car’s as good as new,
it’s lucky that you came in now, before that motor blew,
the pistons were all blistered and the valve stems shot to hell,
the manifold was old with holes, and ugly plugs as well!
“The oil had boiled because it was a lump up in the pump,
loose rings had worn the kingpins down and dumped them in the sump,
the crankshaft and the petrol tank too rusted to repair,
and damn it if the camshaft wasn’t jammed by bearing wear!
“Your carby’s far beyond recall, the jets too wet and thin,
the diff was iffy, so I fitted pin replacements in,
the CV joints were pointy and your front end bent and old,
it’s lucky that I stock your make of intake manifold!
“I couldn’t take the risk, your disc pads had to be replaced,
transmission bolts were faulty and the fluid thick as paste,
then third gear nearly broke, then first, and then I lost reverse,
I put a whole new gearbox in, as second gear was worse!
“Your steering wheel appeared to be in need of special care,
the seat belts felt all shot, I got a neat new front-seat pair,
the clutch was much the same and all the headlights seemed quite crook,
I think the blinkers might be too, but didn’t dare to look!
“The pinion rack lacked tension and its screws were all bad news,
my alternator tester says that yours had blown a fuse,
the bonnet lock was shocking and the doors were poorly done,
I changed the hinges, handles too, they’re just like new, old son.
“I sprayed the radiator out, and filled the anti-freeze,
adjusted all the air-con ports to twenty-three degrees,
I nuked the duco with some special crack-resistant wax,
you owe me seven thousand bucks, including federal tax!”
Considering I’d booked it in to fit a speakerphone,
I figured this excessive, but I didn’t like to moan,
I wrote a check and drove home feeling like a stupid jerk,
the car was running smoothly but the cellphone didn’t work!
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| | VWAG Race team Positions | |
| Author | Message |
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VWAG CamberMan VWAG Race Team Manager

Posts : 830 Join date : 2010-02-21 Age : 38 Location : Northwest UK
 | Subject: VWAG Race team Positions Fri Feb 26, 2010 12:33 am | |
| OK first off this is for all existing members of VWAG who want to become part of the racing team we are now putting together.
You will be representing the team in numerous championships & events with both new & existing team members.
We will not be souly taking part in VAG group races as I want to get the VWAG team recognised as a clean respectible competitive team.
I'll be holding tryouts with all aplicants, we want the cream of the crop. This said though there will be a place for anyone who can race clean and close.
Anyone wanting to become part of the racing team please leave a message in this thread.
_________________  Power is like a condom. It's better to have it & not need it than need it & not have it! |
|  | | VWAG Vladi VIP

Posts : 133 Join date : 2010-01-08 Age : 25 Location : Belgium
 | Subject: Re: VWAG Race team Positions Fri Feb 26, 2010 6:45 pm | |
| Don't think i drive very clean But i noticed that my fast lap times are pretty good if i compare them to the guys in VWAG  |
|  | | VWAG CamberMan VWAG Race Team Manager

Posts : 830 Join date : 2010-02-21 Age : 38 Location : Northwest UK
 | Subject: Re: VWAG Race team Positions Fri Feb 26, 2010 8:53 pm | |
| Well good to see some interest from within the team. I've had some interest on FM.net also so I will be arranging some test races. Clean is key though it really has to be so to keep the rep of the team high _________________  Power is like a condom. It's better to have it & not need it than need it & not have it! |
|  | | VWAG CamberMan VWAG Race Team Manager

Posts : 830 Join date : 2010-02-21 Age : 38 Location : Northwest UK
 | Subject: Re: VWAG Race team Positions Sat Feb 27, 2010 9:43 pm | |
| Come on guy's there must be some more people on the team that want to take part!
After talking to Lowrider last night I have been told there are a couple of you. Please can any VWAG Members who are interested please post in here so I can get things organised. We will be taking part in a variety of championships in varying cars and classes.
All interested parties please post in this thread Thanks _________________  Power is like a condom. It's better to have it & not need it than need it & not have it! |
|  | | VWAG Bora 20v VWAG Race Team Captain

Posts : 388 Join date : 2009-09-15 Age : 47 Location : North East Midlands UK
 | Subject: Re: VWAG Race team Positions Sun Feb 28, 2010 12:00 pm | |
| I'll give it a shot........put me down for a 'try out' |
|  | | VWAG BooK VWAG Test Driver
Posts : 161 Join date : 2010-02-24 Age : 60 Location : Knoxville, TN
 | Subject: Re: VWAG Race team Positions Sun Feb 28, 2010 3:52 pm | |
| I am definitely a clean driver but I think I may be just above average driver! I will give the try out a shot and hope I don't choke!! LOL I know that it would be fun! Good luck with this and just keep me in mind! Thanks VWAG!! |
|  | | Guest Guest
 | Subject: Re: VWAG Race team Positions Sun Feb 28, 2010 4:12 pm | |
| i am clean driver but i don't race but i am into time attack, iif dunno wat they are, so it like race around the track and your postion don't matter but u need hold the fastest lap to win
so.... ? |
|  | | VWAG CamberMan VWAG Race Team Manager

Posts : 830 Join date : 2010-02-21 Age : 38 Location : Northwest UK
 | Subject: Re: VWAG Race team Positions Sun Feb 28, 2010 8:58 pm | |
| Well I'm not looking for Hotlappers I need racers but your welcome to try out for the team. I'll get back to you with a date for tryouts. I think we have atleast one full room so far. _________________  Power is like a condom. It's better to have it & not need it than need it & not have it! |
|  | | VWAG FREERUN VWAG Tuner
Posts : 103 Join date : 2009-08-03 Age : 31 Location : Smelly France
 | Subject: Re: VWAG Race team Positions Mon Mar 01, 2010 11:54 am | |
| count me in for this i haven't been on the forum in a while so but deffinetely game for this |
|  | | VWAG FREERUN VWAG Tuner
Posts : 103 Join date : 2009-08-03 Age : 31 Location : Smelly France
 | Subject: Re: VWAG Race team Positions Mon Mar 01, 2010 11:54 am | |
| count me in for this i haven't been on the forum in a while so but deffinetely game for this |
|  | | VWAG CamberMan VWAG Race Team Manager

Posts : 830 Join date : 2010-02-21 Age : 38 Location : Northwest UK
 | Subject: Re: VWAG Race team Positions Thu Mar 04, 2010 11:29 am | |
| OK TO ALL VWAG MEMBERS:
Tryouts are being held 05/03/10 @ 8:30pm GMT. Can all members please send me a FR so I can invite you to the looby.
If anyone has any issues or can't make it to this tryout please let me know ASAP.
Tracks being run Iberian full forward 6 Laps B Class (all tunres allowed) Mazda Luguna Seca 4 Laps S Class (All tunes Allowed) Maple Valley Short R 6 Laps C Class (FWD Tunes ONLY) Iberian full Forward 10 Laps A Class (RWD Tunes ONLY)
You can use your own tunes or SF purchased tunes This is Just to get an idea of driving styles and speeds. All assists are allowed BUT be aware DAMAGE will be on as will collisons.
I will be reviewing replays & offering places withing the following week.
Good Luck to All _________________  Power is like a condom. It's better to have it & not need it than need it & not have it!
Last edited by VWAG Race Team Manager on Thu Mar 04, 2010 11:50 am; edited 1 time in total |
|  | | Admin VWAG Admin


Posts : 1619 Join date : 2009-05-22 Age : 49
 | Subject: Re: VWAG Race team Positions Thu Mar 04, 2010 11:44 am | |
| Can u confirm date is 5th of May as that seems along way. Surly the people who replyed on fm.net wont wait that long? |
|  | | VWAG CamberMan VWAG Race Team Manager

Posts : 830 Join date : 2010-02-21 Age : 38 Location : Northwest UK
 | Subject: Re: VWAG Race team Positions Thu Mar 04, 2010 11:49 am | |
| DOH!!! I meant this Friday evening 5TH OF MARCH
What an idiot I just sent a mass message on xbl 2 damn it here we go again......To confirm it is 5th MARCH also known as tomorrow night.
Cheers Lowrider _________________  Power is like a condom. It's better to have it & not need it than need it & not have it! |
|  | | VWAG CamberMan VWAG Race Team Manager

Posts : 830 Join date : 2010-02-21 Age : 38 Location : Northwest UK
 | Subject: Re: VWAG Race team Positions Fri Mar 05, 2010 9:45 pm | |
| Well we ran the first of the tryouts tonight and I think it was a great success. We had a full room of racers and four really good races with a nice bit of banter.
I'll be holding further tryouts for other people who couldn't/didn't make it. _________________  Power is like a condom. It's better to have it & not need it than need it & not have it! |
|  | | Admin VWAG Admin


Posts : 1619 Join date : 2009-05-22 Age : 49
 | Subject: Re: VWAG Race team Positions Wed Sep 29, 2010 11:35 am | |
| UPDATE Poss positions available, _________________ Understeer is when you hit the wall with the front of the car. Oversteer is when you hit the wall with the rear of the car. Horsepower is how fast you hit the wall. Torque is how far you take the wall with you.
|
|  | | FDH - Flip VIP Elite Club

Posts : 555 Join date : 2010-03-26 Age : 42 Location : Adelaide, Australia
 | Subject: Re: VWAG Race team Positions Thu Sep 30, 2010 1:25 pm | |
| You guys taking slow painters??? _________________ Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
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